Question 15.

What stands between you and what you want ?

A lot of it is fear.
Fear of rejection - being told I'm not wanted or am not good enough
Fear of failure - thinking if I try and fail, I will look like more of a failure than if I don't try. Fear of knowing how I will beat myself up if I can't achieve what I try.
Fear of the  unknown - it is far more comfortable for me to stay in what I know than to branch out into the unknown. That kept me in an abusive relationship for 18 years, wasting half of my adult life.

The other piece would be finances.
Finances , or the lack thereof, stopped me from going to college when I was young.  I knew nothing of grants and thought college was for rich kids whose parents could afford it for them.
Lack of funds keeps me from getting a dependable , newer car.
It keeps me from getting much needed new clothes and shoes.
It keeps me from helping others who have real need and my heart aches that I can't even help my own family.

Question 14.

What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid ?

Well, that is a list that has evolved over time.....

When I was small I wanted:
To be a ballerina
To be a famous singer
To be a wife and mom
To be grown up and in control of my own life
Attention
Love

In my teens:
To have my own car and drive
To be married
To have someone want me
To be popular
To not be an outcast

As an adult:
I want to be respected
I want to be treated well
I want to further my education
I want to continue to overcome my past and the baggage that came with it
I want to show others the acceptance I spent most of my life trying to gain

Question 13.

What Has Fear Of Failure Stopped You From Doing?

Leaving an abusive relationship sooner.

Going to college sooner.

Trying for better jobs, always staying for the most part,  in my comfort zone.

Achieving more, living up to my potential.

Realizing I was worth so much more than what I settled for.

Question 12.

What are the top 3 qualities you look for in a friend?

Honesty

Loyalty

Compassion

I don't actually pursue or seek friends. G-d brings into my life those He wants there. My friends are hand picked by the Master and are the best anyone could ask or pray for.

They are honest with me always, we don't hide anything from each other, we are completely open. 

They are loyal as can be. They've been by my side even when I've made not so good decisions that they knew may hurt me, and if they did, they are there to pick up the pieces, help me learn from it and go forward.

They always show me compassion, even if I cause my own pain. They are there with talks, love and hugs, words of encouragement and love.

Question 11.

Who makes you feel good about yourself?

My husband Jim- He always tells me how much I've grown since we've met, how beautiful I am. He thanks me for every little chore I do and tells me things look great when I do them. He always encourages me to sing.

My daughter Angel- I love sharing laughter and tears with her. When we have fun, we'll laugh till we cry and our sides hurt. If one of us is hurting, we always have the other to call for a pep talk, love and encouragement. When I'm down, she is quick to remind me of my blessings and she is definitely one of them.

My Dad- He tells me how proud he is of me for who I am and for my ability to share my feelings, a trait he greatly admires. He makes me feel safe.

Liz- She always finds the positive in me! She builds me up with words of affirmation, but from her they are not just words, they are from her heart. She is always supportive when I'm going through a rough time and only a phone call away. She will always tell me the truth, but with the greatest love and care.

Lisa- She is so gentle and kind, not just to me, but with all whom she loves. I can always count on her loyalty and kind loving spirit. I can always talk to her and know I will feel better afterward. She is extremely faithful.

Question 10.

In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?

Well, let's see...this is a stretch for me because I don't really care for change much, and I don't do much that brings change.

I think as I continue to learn and grow I will be wiser and better. I'm always seeking to be a better me.

My granchildren, children and I will all be another year older.

I hope by next year to have a better job and income.

I hope by next year, I am a better friend than I am today. I always want to do better in this area, my friends are the very best example in loyalty and love.

Question 9.

If you had to move 3,000 miles away, what one thing would you miss most?



Everything. I would miss my daughter and grandchildren.I'd miss my friends . I'd miss weekly fellowship with fellow believers I love.  I would miss the sights and sounds, the mountains, the ocean, familiar hang outs. I'd miss getting to drive through my old neighborhood.  I'd miss Ruby Beach and Alki and Lincoln Park.  I'd miss favorite walking places. The list really is endless.

Question 8.

What do you want to be known for?

For being caring and compassionate.

For being a good friend.

For loving.

For being faithful and loyal.

For being a good example of a Torah observant life.

For being a good wife and mom.

For making a difference in people's lives.

For shining the light of Yeshua.

Question 7.

In one sentence, who are you?

Question 6.

What is  the #1 motivator in your life right now?

The answer to that for me, would have to for the most part be one of my motto Scriptures.
Col.  3:17   And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through.

I want what I do in everyday to be done as if I'm doing it to and for the L-rd of Hosts.  I want to put forth my best effort. I want to live in such a way that no one can speak ill of me without lying. I want to love as our Father loves, care as He cares. I try to be the best employee I can, never being late nor getting caught up in drama, so that I'm never the one causing the job to be a stressor for my employer.

Question 5.

  What word best describes the way you've spent the last  month of your life?

      

Stressed- 

Stress is what you feel when you have to handle more than you are used to. When you are stressed, your body responds as though you are in danger. It makes hormones that speed up your heart, make you breathe faster, and give you a burst of energy. This is called the fight-or-flight stress response.



Question 4.

In order of importance how would you rank:

happiness, money, love , health and fame ?

1. Love - Love ranks the top spot. Yeshua put a heavy emphasis on love. He said " If you love Me , obey My commands."   " Love your neighbor as yourself". "Love the L-rd your G-d with all of your heart, mind and strength."  There are many other verses on this topic for sure.
Our daily actions should stem from a heart of love toward G-d and others. We want to show love to our family and friends. We also want to be loved.

2. Health - Don't we all want to be healthy? We certainly don't want to be ill or infirmed. I can do more for those I care about if I take care of myself by eating right, getting enough rest and caring for my emotional well being.

3. Money - Let's face it, we need it. Without it we are homeless and possibly naked. We need it to buy food to live. We need it for shelter, for clothing, vehicles to get to work. As much as I dislike it, it's a must. Really

4. Happiness - Of course I want to be happy, I love it when it happens, but you know what?  Nowhere in Scripture did G-d ever promise us "happy".  Life happens, to all of us. We were assured of G-d's joy, which is not dependant on our circumstances , as is happiness.

5. Fame - I could care less! I don't need to be famous. As a child I dreamed of being a famous singer or dancer. I do however want to make an impact on those around me. To those I care about , I would like to be "famous" for having loved with all I have.

Question 3.

Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?


Increase in finances

A good relationship with my son

Healing for friends and family

Justice to be served

People to repent and do the right thing

A better job that I enjoy and is fulfilling

To be debt free

For people to be thoughtful and not hurtful

A new car

Less evil and unrighteousness in the world

To go to Israel, Germany,Ireland ,England and back to Alaska

To see my Dad and Sisters

Question 2.

What's Been On Your Mind Most Lately?

People's lack of character in action compared to what they profess
Justice
Disappointment
Frustration
Friend's health
Family member's health
Work
Income
Wanting more free time to study, think and blog
Israel
World events

Week 1

A picture of a vehicle you would love to drive or own....

This incredible beauty is a Honda Goldwing 1100. I actually did used to ride one of these. She had a fairing with lots of compartments for storage and a killer stereo for tunes on the road. This , my friends, to me, is the Cadillac of bikes. She is smooth as silk, quiet, comfy ride, lots of torque. Who could ask for more? She also had a padded sissy bar for the rear rider and passenger foot pegs. I'll always remember her.

Or how about this beauty? The new Dodge Challenger!

Power (SAE): 470 hp @ 6,000 rpm; 470 ft lb of torque @ 4,200 rpm

The 2011 comes with a Hemi V8

I can so see me driving this can't you?

Or for fun I'd like this

 

 

The Kia Soul.

I know, you may think I'm strange, but I like 'em for some reason.

What are you dream vehicles?

Question # 1

What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

A year ago the actions of some left me truly confused and was overwhelming to me
Today, though some things will never make sense, I don't dwell on them quite so much and they aren't as shocking to me as they once were

A year ago, I suffered the loss of what I considered to be some good friends
Today I realise they never really were, I've come to grips with it.

A year ago I relied too heavily on leaders to guide and teach
Today I rely on the One Teacher to enables me to walk out the traditions I love so dearly

A year ago I thought all shepherds really knew how to be just that
Today I've learned not to assume , to lower my expectations, and be very watchful

A year ago I wondered how I would observe the High Holy Days without a formal community
Today, I've learned I can.

A year ago  I thought a faith community meant a large number of members gathering weekly to worship and study
Today G-d has reshaped and redefined to me what community is ( I'm so thankful )

A year ago I thought I knew myself
Today I'm learning to me more self aware of thoughts, actions and emotions