A lot of it is fear.
Fear of rejection - being told I'm not wanted or am not good enough
Fear of failure - thinking if I try and fail, I will look like more of a failure than if I don't try. Fear of knowing how I will beat myself up if I can't achieve what I try.
Fear of the unknown - it is far more comfortable for me to stay in what I know than to branch out into the unknown. That kept me in an abusive relationship for 18 years, wasting half of my adult life.
The other piece would be finances.
Finances , or the lack thereof, stopped me from going to college when I was young. I knew nothing of grants and thought college was for rich kids whose parents could afford it for them.
Lack of funds keeps me from getting a dependable , newer car.
It keeps me from getting much needed new clothes and shoes.
It keeps me from helping others who have real need and my heart aches that I can't even help my own family.
I sure appreciate your vulnerability in sharing those things that so many of us have and still do deal with. I love you and will stand by to encourage and support you no matter what. :o)
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