Question 16.

What Do You Do When Nothing Else Seems To Make You Happy?

Well, depending on the depth of my mood, there are different things that may do the trick of pulling me out of a funk. To be honest, if my mood is too deep into the pit, not much can pull me out and I may just have a good cry for the day.

Here are some things that may work for me.

Music

Music is wonderful therapy for me that carries me away on the wings of every note. I can get lost for hours listening to music. In my teens I slept in my headphones.

A Walk

I love to get out in the midst of nature. The smell of trees and flowers fill my senses. The prospect of seeing some little woodlawn crerature excites me. I can never get enough of seeing a little furry or feathered freind. If the mood hits I may stroll the beach and focus on the sound of the rolling waves and seagulls. I may beachcomb for some little treasure to take home, some precious stone or shell.

Other things that can help are: being with good friends or talking on the phone with someone who can make me laugh. Talking with someone who lets me get it all of my chest. Sometimes just a change of scenery like taking a drive.

Other times, I need to just be in the moment, not try to find an escape or easy road out. Sometimes I need to just feel the emotions of the moment and process my thoughts.

Question 15.

What stands between you and what you want ?

A lot of it is fear.
Fear of rejection - being told I'm not wanted or am not good enough
Fear of failure - thinking if I try and fail, I will look like more of a failure than if I don't try. Fear of knowing how I will beat myself up if I can't achieve what I try.
Fear of the  unknown - it is far more comfortable for me to stay in what I know than to branch out into the unknown. That kept me in an abusive relationship for 18 years, wasting half of my adult life.

The other piece would be finances.
Finances , or the lack thereof, stopped me from going to college when I was young.  I knew nothing of grants and thought college was for rich kids whose parents could afford it for them.
Lack of funds keeps me from getting a dependable , newer car.
It keeps me from getting much needed new clothes and shoes.
It keeps me from helping others who have real need and my heart aches that I can't even help my own family.

Question 14.

What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid ?

Well, that is a list that has evolved over time.....

When I was small I wanted:
To be a ballerina
To be a famous singer
To be a wife and mom
To be grown up and in control of my own life
Attention
Love

In my teens:
To have my own car and drive
To be married
To have someone want me
To be popular
To not be an outcast

As an adult:
I want to be respected
I want to be treated well
I want to further my education
I want to continue to overcome my past and the baggage that came with it
I want to show others the acceptance I spent most of my life trying to gain

Question 13.

What Has Fear Of Failure Stopped You From Doing?

Leaving an abusive relationship sooner.

Going to college sooner.

Trying for better jobs, always staying for the most part,  in my comfort zone.

Achieving more, living up to my potential.

Realizing I was worth so much more than what I settled for.

Question 12.

What are the top 3 qualities you look for in a friend?

Honesty

Loyalty

Compassion

I don't actually pursue or seek friends. G-d brings into my life those He wants there. My friends are hand picked by the Master and are the best anyone could ask or pray for.

They are honest with me always, we don't hide anything from each other, we are completely open. 

They are loyal as can be. They've been by my side even when I've made not so good decisions that they knew may hurt me, and if they did, they are there to pick up the pieces, help me learn from it and go forward.

They always show me compassion, even if I cause my own pain. They are there with talks, love and hugs, words of encouragement and love.

Question 11.

Who makes you feel good about yourself?

My husband Jim- He always tells me how much I've grown since we've met, how beautiful I am. He thanks me for every little chore I do and tells me things look great when I do them. He always encourages me to sing.

My daughter Angel- I love sharing laughter and tears with her. When we have fun, we'll laugh till we cry and our sides hurt. If one of us is hurting, we always have the other to call for a pep talk, love and encouragement. When I'm down, she is quick to remind me of my blessings and she is definitely one of them.

My Dad- He tells me how proud he is of me for who I am and for my ability to share my feelings, a trait he greatly admires. He makes me feel safe.

Liz- She always finds the positive in me! She builds me up with words of affirmation, but from her they are not just words, they are from her heart. She is always supportive when I'm going through a rough time and only a phone call away. She will always tell me the truth, but with the greatest love and care.

Lisa- She is so gentle and kind, not just to me, but with all whom she loves. I can always count on her loyalty and kind loving spirit. I can always talk to her and know I will feel better afterward. She is extremely faithful.

Question 10.

In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?

Well, let's see...this is a stretch for me because I don't really care for change much, and I don't do much that brings change.

I think as I continue to learn and grow I will be wiser and better. I'm always seeking to be a better me.

My granchildren, children and I will all be another year older.

I hope by next year to have a better job and income.

I hope by next year, I am a better friend than I am today. I always want to do better in this area, my friends are the very best example in loyalty and love.